Thursday, May 26, 2016
Yes as a Matter of Fact I am Sick. No You Can't Help.
Mental illness. Did that scare you a little? Yeah it's that category of diseases no one wants to talk about. If you have the flu people bring you chicken soup and hot tea. You get diagnosed with cancer and everyone wants to help and be supportive. Diabetes awareness, Autism awareness, breast cancer, leukemia, HIV, heart disease...the list goes on and on, everyone wants to be supportive and do fundraisers for research for a cure, better treatments, etc. I'd hate to break your heart but as long as pharmaceutical companies are making millions off it, it ain't happening. But that's a story for another day. When you say you suffer from a mental illness people look at you like you announced you have a body in the deep freezer in your garage. OMG! You have a mental illness! You're going to turn into a serial killer! *insert eye roll here* Um actually I was first diagnosed with chronic depression when I was 14 and you were never scared of me before. Oh now you are because I decided it hurts more to hide than tell the truth. Gee thanks! I've lived with this beast for 24 years. At some point, though I'm not even sure when to be honest, anxiety decided to join the party. Ya know what? I'm not the only one who hurts from it, so do others. Not just my illness but my silence on it. It's a disease of the mind, which last I checked is part of my body. It's not different than my asthma, allergies, sinus problems, low blood sugar swings...it's all a part of me. I have good days and bad, just like with the other things. Today was a bad day for depression. A really bad day. It was a chore to just take a shower. I went to the grocery store and I'm exhausted. Just everyday things can be exhausting some days. I wake up everyday just to battle my own mind so I can function. I don't even get the peace of a good night's sleep to strengthen me for another day. More often than not I cannot fall asleep without taking something. It's getting to the point I may have to seek a prescription sleep aid, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. So yeah, there, I said it. I'm mentally ill. And that's ok. It doesn't make me less human.